Here are a few tips I think you REALLY need! If you don't do it, you won't be offended.
Stop watching yourself in the mirror. Yes, you're cute. Of course you are. You take your clothes off for money. Watch the customers not yourself. It's obnoxious to watch you watch yourself.
Smile while you're on stage. You look like a bitch.
Stop pretending you're smart. If you say "intelligent and stuff" you are an idiot. Just giggle, jiggle, bounce and make your money. To those that actually are smart, the older guys LOVE you! Everyone else, you must dumb it down for them. Say things like "intellectual and stuff".
You do NOT have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband. You are single for that five hours. You don't have kids. Leave it at the door.
Don't ask them if they are in a relationship, or if they have kids. They left them at home for a reason. It's all about fun. If they want to talk about that, TRUST ME they will bring it up.
Do NOT wear your target thong as a t bar. Go to the damn stripper store and buy legitimate dancer wear. You look stupid and we are all laughing at you. Seriously.
Also, PLEASE do NOT pick your wedge on stage. Ask one of the older girls how to do it gracefully, without hiking one leg up and ripping it out of your crack. That's gross. And ugly. Oh, that goes for your nose too.
If you are sick, STAY THE HELL HOME!!! No one wants to catch that shit!!
Do NOT be a whore at the bar. You are taking money from the rest of us. Pick a spot outside of the bar, hotel etc, and set it up to go there. We don't care if you blow/jack off/screw the customers. But do it where other customers cannot see it. We don't want to, and they'll insist we do. We lose money, and we come after you.
If you are going to drink at work, please take a cab. MANY cab companies offer discounts to dancers. If you are in Tucson, Mark from Discount Taxi is THE MAN!! He works nights only, he is amazing. Call him!!!
OH!! BEWARE THOSE THAT DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH!!!! Spanish, Italian, Korean, whatever. They are ridiculous. I have been bitten, slapped, spanked, grabbed, squeezed etc by these assholes, and it's a 99 to 1 that they will ABSOLUTELY do it. It's not prejudice. It's the truth.
Also, you should consider doing private shows. It's A LOT of money. Shorter hours. Charge what you want. Do what you're comfortable with. And bring a big bouncer. There's always one at each bar that's willing to work after hours. Include his price into yours. IE $500hr you + $100hr bouncer= $600 customer payment.
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Your are cracking me up with this dressing room talk ..But yes its true Get a room bitches....oh yeah and to those women that think that strippers are home wrecking whores ..you should really dissect your marriage and look at the type of asshole that you married ...maybe there's shit you guys need to work on , the fact that hes coming to a strip club with out your knowledge should tell you ,your not as close as you think ("Hes my BFF" NOT!!!!!). Half of these women don't even know there's husband sexual desires and would never go through with them if they did know. So stop blaming the strippers for the dis-function in your homes.Strippers don't sneak into your home at night like the Grinch and steal your husbands away they pour into the club by the thousand...
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