Here are a few tips I think you REALLY need! If you don't do it, you won't be offended.
Stop watching yourself in the mirror. Yes, you're cute. Of course you are. You take your clothes off for money. Watch the customers not yourself. It's obnoxious to watch you watch yourself.
Smile while you're on stage. You look like a bitch.
Stop pretending you're smart. If you say "intelligent and stuff" you are an idiot. Just giggle, jiggle, bounce and make your money. To those that actually are smart, the older guys LOVE you! Everyone else, you must dumb it down for them. Say things like "intellectual and stuff".
You do NOT have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband. You are single for that five hours. You don't have kids. Leave it at the door.
Don't ask them if they are in a relationship, or if they have kids. They left them at home for a reason. It's all about fun. If they want to talk about that, TRUST ME they will bring it up.
Do NOT wear your target thong as a t bar. Go to the damn stripper store and buy legitimate dancer wear. You look stupid and we are all laughing at you. Seriously.
Also, PLEASE do NOT pick your wedge on stage. Ask one of the older girls how to do it gracefully, without hiking one leg up and ripping it out of your crack. That's gross. And ugly. Oh, that goes for your nose too.
If you are sick, STAY THE HELL HOME!!! No one wants to catch that shit!!
Do NOT be a whore at the bar. You are taking money from the rest of us. Pick a spot outside of the bar, hotel etc, and set it up to go there. We don't care if you blow/jack off/screw the customers. But do it where other customers cannot see it. We don't want to, and they'll insist we do. We lose money, and we come after you.
If you are going to drink at work, please take a cab. MANY cab companies offer discounts to dancers. If you are in Tucson, Mark from Discount Taxi is THE MAN!! He works nights only, he is amazing. Call him!!!
OH!! BEWARE THOSE THAT DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH!!!! Spanish, Italian, Korean, whatever. They are ridiculous. I have been bitten, slapped, spanked, grabbed, squeezed etc by these assholes, and it's a 99 to 1 that they will ABSOLUTELY do it. It's not prejudice. It's the truth.
Also, you should consider doing private shows. It's A LOT of money. Shorter hours. Charge what you want. Do what you're comfortable with. And bring a big bouncer. There's always one at each bar that's willing to work after hours. Include his price into yours. IE $500hr you + $100hr bouncer= $600 customer payment.
Friday, February 19, 2010
A Few Tips For The Weekend
I am ashamed at some things I have read on other dancer's blogs.
And I am going to get a few things straight.
First to the patrons of the bars:
WOMEN- Just because you are a woman does NOT mean you can grab, lick, smack or touch in any possible way. You should know better. Would you allow a perfect stranger to molest you? No. Cut that shit out!
That being said, there are many women who are ok with this. In the Champagne Room, away from where others are watching, and honestly- for a much higher price. That goes for menas well. And instead of just grabbing and waiting for a response (I will absolutely hit you)why not just ask her if it's cool?
DON'T BRING YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO THE BAR. Yes we know, woman on woman is HOT! And HELL YES it is!! We LOVE when she comes in! HOWEVER, if you had to talk or bribe her into it, she will be miserable, and a pain in MY ass all night. No one likes the dirty looks, or shitty comments because your insecure girlfriend/wife can't hang with attractive naked women by their men. But just so she knows- we don't want him. We want his money.
To those men- ask her if she wants a dance and ask her who she thinks is attractive before you open your fat mouth and swallow a foot. That makes them more comfortable. And don't EVER say "Babe, we should get you some of those" She doesn't want to hear that. Don't say or suggest anything while you are there. Just shut up and watch the show. You'll love it.
To the dancer, APPROACH THE WIFE FIRST! Do not acknowledge that man until she gives the ok. You will make everyone at the table more comfortable, and you will make WAY more money when you make her happy first. I promise you.
STOP TAKING PICTURES OF THE STRIPPERS! Yes, it's your friends birthday/bachelor party/divorce party/whatever. We do NOT want eternal photo on the web of our pole sliding. And we definitely don't need that shot flashed to anyone we know outside of the bar. Pack it in your spank bank,and be on your marry way.
Don't lick the strippers. This should be number one. Damn. Too late. First, you don't know where they've been. That's nasty. You may have asked that girl for a dance that just had sex and cum on her chest. Or been licked in the same spot by the guy right before you. Ya, you want that in your mouth? No. No you don't.
DANCERS- Deoderant will quickly put a stop to that. Many of us do it. While getting ready for work put some deoderant right inbetween your breasts. HA! It's a kick when they go to lick you and get cotton mouth and that shitty soap taste in their mouths for an hour. Plus, they'll down their beer and buy more. Meaning the bar got another sale, he got more drunk. In the process the more drunk they are, the more money they spend.
IF YOU ARE SITTING AT THE STAGE, YOU MUST TIP AT LEAST ONCE TO EACH STRIPPER ON STAGE. You don't want to? MOVE YOUR ASS CHEAP
SKATE! This seat is for tippers only!!!
Well, I think I covered most bases today. I WILL be back with more. And a seperate post for the dancers. Because I've got some word for you ladies.
And I am going to get a few things straight.
First to the patrons of the bars:
WOMEN- Just because you are a woman does NOT mean you can grab, lick, smack or touch in any possible way. You should know better. Would you allow a perfect stranger to molest you? No. Cut that shit out!
That being said, there are many women who are ok with this. In the Champagne Room, away from where others are watching, and honestly- for a much higher price. That goes for menas well. And instead of just grabbing and waiting for a response (I will absolutely hit you)why not just ask her if it's cool?
DON'T BRING YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO THE BAR. Yes we know, woman on woman is HOT! And HELL YES it is!! We LOVE when she comes in! HOWEVER, if you had to talk or bribe her into it, she will be miserable, and a pain in MY ass all night. No one likes the dirty looks, or shitty comments because your insecure girlfriend/wife can't hang with attractive naked women by their men. But just so she knows- we don't want him. We want his money.
To those men- ask her if she wants a dance and ask her who she thinks is attractive before you open your fat mouth and swallow a foot. That makes them more comfortable. And don't EVER say "Babe, we should get you some of those" She doesn't want to hear that. Don't say or suggest anything while you are there. Just shut up and watch the show. You'll love it.
To the dancer, APPROACH THE WIFE FIRST! Do not acknowledge that man until she gives the ok. You will make everyone at the table more comfortable, and you will make WAY more money when you make her happy first. I promise you.
STOP TAKING PICTURES OF THE STRIPPERS! Yes, it's your friends birthday/bachelor party/divorce party/whatever. We do NOT want eternal photo on the web of our pole sliding. And we definitely don't need that shot flashed to anyone we know outside of the bar. Pack it in your spank bank,and be on your marry way.
Don't lick the strippers. This should be number one. Damn. Too late. First, you don't know where they've been. That's nasty. You may have asked that girl for a dance that just had sex and cum on her chest. Or been licked in the same spot by the guy right before you. Ya, you want that in your mouth? No. No you don't.
DANCERS- Deoderant will quickly put a stop to that. Many of us do it. While getting ready for work put some deoderant right inbetween your breasts. HA! It's a kick when they go to lick you and get cotton mouth and that shitty soap taste in their mouths for an hour. Plus, they'll down their beer and buy more. Meaning the bar got another sale, he got more drunk. In the process the more drunk they are, the more money they spend.
IF YOU ARE SITTING AT THE STAGE, YOU MUST TIP AT LEAST ONCE TO EACH STRIPPER ON STAGE. You don't want to? MOVE YOUR ASS CHEAP
SKATE! This seat is for tippers only!!!
Well, I think I covered most bases today. I WILL be back with more. And a seperate post for the dancers. Because I've got some word for you ladies.
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